Is this supposed to break me, or inspire me to fight the system?

I have been trying to sleep. And I can't. 

It's almost 2:30 in the morning and I really need to sleep, for the past 2 days I've been trying to process this experience and understand how to fit it into my life and now it's keeping me up despite my best efforts to relax, to think about other things - I even drank some wine to help me relax. To no avail.

I have to express this.

On Monday I took the driving test that is required by Israeli law to transfer my foreign license. According to the law (as written on the DMV website) this test is supposed to be a very short test to see that the driver does in fact know how to handle a car. This is to deter situations where people forge foreign licenses and then come to claim an Israeli one. Or so I'm told. Because once upon a time an Oleh was able to present their valid license and receive a valid license. I don't fully understand why they can't just do a routine check with the DMV in the state of the issued license to check if it's valid. Especially between Israel and the US - where I am still a citizen and where I pay taxes. (meaning, the two countries have an allied relationship. and some would say even an interdependency - whatever let's not get into that.)

An immigrant is given 2 chances to pass this driving test after which they must take a written test and then a regular driving test. Last year I made all the arrangements, found a driving instructor, scheduled a test and failed. You know what? I failed. I hadn't driven in nearly 6 months because we don't have a car. The instructor I chose was terrible and I have since found out that everyone in the industry knows that. (If you live in the North and you want to check that your instructor in Kiryat Shmona is not this guy, you can contact.me - I'm not going to slander him, but I'll tell you who he's not.) Anyway, on that test, I actually drove into a street that had a Do Not Enter sign. (note that the sing was extremely faded and not in full view, but I violated it all the same.)

This time I came prepared. I found a really good instructor - Niv. (You can call me for his number if you need someone) I still don't have a car, and am technically no longer allowed to drive on my NJ license cuz I've been here more than a year, so I did the right thing. I took a bunch of lessons in Kiryat Shmona, he took me on all the test routes, he pointed out the hard bits, I did great. By the time the tester sat down next to me, I was feeling totally Zen. I felt completely confident in my ability to drive, I felt completely confident that all outcomes are in God's hands and we proceeded. I even was able to overcome my Brooklyn habit of always being ready at the gas! 

There was another girl in the car with me, a teenager who was going to be taking her test second and who had already failed two or three times.

I drove beautifully, no problems - then Hashem sent me a challenge, and I slipped. It seems that a particular small street in Kiryat Shmona starts off as a one way street and then without any signage becomes a two way street. I didn't drive on the wrong side of the street. That wasn't the issue. What I did do was when I was asked to make a left at the end of that street, I signaled and then moved to the left to make the turn from the left side which is the law for a one way street. Once my mistake was pointed out to me I immediately (and calmly with no hesitation or nervousness) corrected myself and continued driving. 

You're asking yourself how this is fair because how was I supposed to know that it changed to a two way? As everyone who drives in Israel knows, there are no lines on the street. On this particular day, no one drove up on my left either, and it happened that there were no cars parked facing the wrong way (although as everyone in Israel knows that wouldn't mean anything either.) What did happen was that I crossed an intersection. And when a street reaches an intersection - all previous bets are off. This includes changes in speed limit. If there is a sign indicating a change in speed limit, this means until a new sign or until an intersection - that's important information all you olim!

So anyway, everything else went just fine and the tester was actually quite nice about it, and I still felt confident. The girl who took her test next was awful! I'm sorry, but my gage these days is whether or not I am made to feel like hurling, and she was so choppy, and she was speeding several times - which he pointed out, and she accelerated into a dangerous turn instead of breaking - which he pointed out, and then she stayed in the left lane of a larger two lane street (on which she was speeding) which he pointed out, which you can also get a ticket for in this country.

When we got out of the car I felt very confident that although I had slipped up, I proved what I was supposed to prove, and the tester was aware that this was a foreign transfer and that the story was finally over.

At 4pm my instructor called and tried to find my name on his list of people who passed. He wasn't sure of my last name, even when I repeated it but he said he couldn't find it on the list and he was sorry. He told me that when he gets my form the next day we would know why I failed and that was it.

I decided that mistakes happen, and continued to pray that this was a fluke. Because I mean, we have to get to Jerusalem for Pesach - a family of 5 with suitcases and not to mention my belly. And not only that, but we are going to be there for a week and a half, and had planned on taking some trips since it is the only time of year that Yoram has vacation. And I was gonna keep asking for what I felt was right until I had a clear answer that the answer is no. (you know like kids do to their parents all the time.)

But that's not all. If I have to take this test over it means the following - getting to Kiryat Shmona and paying to take the written test one day, I won't be able to retake the driving test until next month. That means another lesson or two since I won't have driven in that time, it means getting back and forth to Kiryat Shmona, it means finding places for my kids after school... It means that I am being made a victim of this stupid beaurocracy that is complete nonsense and that is so ingrained that it is impossible to fight.

Today at around 1pm (after many tearful prayers and a lot of processing) my instructor called me and I was prepared for an answer - whatever it was.

(the conversation - mostly in Hebrew, went like this)

"Ayelet, I don't know why you failed." 

"what?"

"on your green form, he wrote 'fail' but the test form where he needs to write why is missing"

"what do you mean? so maybe there was a mistake. I don't accept that. Unless I see why he's failing me I'm going to fight this! I proved that I can drive, that is all that was required of me on this test. What happened to the other girl?"

"She passed." 

"What??? She told you the mistakes she made! How did he pass a teenager that failed 3 times and made clear mistakes and not me? A mother of 3 with 14 years of driving experience? What do we do now?"

"Ayelet, drop it, he can do whatever he wants. Tomorrow I will go into the DMV and find out what happened to your form. But that's about it. If he says you failed you failed."

"I don't accept it, Niv. Not until I see that form."

"But you made a left turn from the wrong lane. He can fail you for that."

"Niv, this is not ok. If I had the form I would understand, but maybe there is room to try and fight this - because you know I can drive!"

"So write a letter and I will take it with me tomorrow. Write exactly what you told me. But this is Israel, Ayelet, you can't fight this. It's not America."

We hung up.

Most Olim after a couple of years accept the israeli mentality of "Ayn Ma la'asot" (nothing can be done). That's the way it is, there's no fighting it. So I'm being reticent. I believe that everything comes from Hashem. But I don't believe that means that we lie down and accept injustice. 

I want to fight this, but I feel that I'm alone. and one little shnook from NY is not going to make any sort of difference against the department of transportation. But I feel that my rights are being violated - and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Maybe it wasn't in your driving test, but somewhere in this ridiculous system, you've been taken advantage of because you didn't know the language or all the rules and they used that against you. Sometime during your Aliyah you've been made to feel unwelcome by the very authorities that should be supporting you.

I need some help. And honest opinions. Am I out of my mind? Am I supposed to just accept this and take the test again (and everything that comes with it) and pay another ~800 shekel when all is said and done? And just chalk it up to "ayn ma laasot?" I'm in Israel now? Or should I rally the forces, find others who oppose this and who have experienced this and launch a full scale attack on this insanity. It has to stop somewhere. Just as there is a reason for everything, there is also a reason that a large percentage of world Jewery was exiled to North America before coming here. We have a different experience. We know better. Should we not be trying to make things better for everyone here? 

I want to go in there tomorrow with Niv and find out what happened - but Niv's exact words to me on the topic were, (in Hebrew) "Ayelet, let it go. It's a waste of your energy to fight this office. You don't know them, they don't care about anyone! If you spit on them, they'll piss on you. They don't care. It's a waste of your energy that is better spent studying for the written exam, and moving on."

Obviously, as evidenced by the fact that I'm writing about this at 3:15am, I'm not ready to accept this. What is the next step then? Suck it up and get used to it? Or try to make a change?

(And while we're on the topic - anyone know what the maximum penalty is for driving on a foreign license past the alloted time? Just curious.) 

Overworked and Underpaid in Israel... another news inspired post

I just read this article in Haaretz about the growing problem of poverty in Israel.

The author suggests that the government implement welfare to work programs and vocational training, and that's all fine and good... but I don't think that is truly treating the root of the problem. In my opinion, that's just another band-aid plaster (as we call it here!)

I know I've only been here for 2 years, but I'm taking the liberty to comment on this from a personal perspective.

B"H, Yoram got a job relatively quickly as Aliyah stories go. We moved to Katzrin in May and he was hired as a temp worker in the winery in August. Within the last year, he was promoted to a full time employee, and although there are many wonderful benefits of his job (not the least of which is free wine!) his income alone puts us right in the above statistics. And he works haaard!

I'm going to make a bold statement. In my opinion, the lack of education is what's causing more people to drop below the poverty line. The problem is that pay is not commensurate with workload in most "middle class" jobs.

In most of Israel, certainly here in the Golan, a one-income family is not even the dream that most couples aspire to achieve - only needing two incomes would suffice!

Vocational training programs, as well as easily attained government subsidies to attend them, exist in spades here. But what happens once you enter your new profession? Will you now suddenly feel fulfilled and able to sustain a lifestyle that allows for even the most meager purchases over "basic needs"? or even those actual basic needs (without going into overdraft!)?

Probably not.

Maybe if you're single and live in your parent's Mamad. But not if you actually want to get married and have a family.

What we need is to raise minimum wage to something that reflects the actual prices of groceries and basic amenities. We need a way to encourage companies and employers to pay higher salaries and give more merit based and need based raises. Benefits packages need to be re-evaluated to reflect the needs of the allegedly vanishing middle class families.

an overly generous social welfare system that leads to people finding it easier to stay home and live off of welfare checks than heading back to work

Considering that in most cases a second income will not cover daycare - you might also be tempted to take the "easy" road of unemployment if it means you get to raise your own kids - or even see them and spend time with them instead of being completely exhausted from the 2 or 3 jobs that you are working just to pay the bills.

And then, once all that's done, and we "middle-classers" have a little disposable income - that's when we North Americans will be needing our Sunday's back to shop!

What's in your backpack?

This post is inspired by Crazy Stable's recent post about the sad reality of the death of playtime (my high school English teacher is not going to like that sentence!) You should read it.

It reminded me of a recent experience with Tani and an inspection of the contents of his backpack...

Tani is learning in an anthroposophic learning environment where he and his 13 classmates learn through experience, movement, art, etc... He knows all his letter and numbers up to 13 (they just started numbers a few weeks ago), he creates phenomenal drawings based on the readings of the weekly Torah portion, and he can sounds out words that he sees with ease. Yes, Mom, I know you think he's exceptional - but you're biased, ok? His classmates are on par.

He doesn't get homework. About a month ago Yoram realized that Tani's backpack was really heavy and we wondered what's inside it? It's not like he's lugging textbooks and binders like his public school counterparts...  so we asked him to show us.

"Oh," I said, "exactly what a six year old should have in his backpack!"
The full inventory:

• a small green towel from his pre-school graduation (always know where your towel is!)
• several rocks of varying shapes, colors and sizes - he also told us the names of some of them, such as flint and basalt
• a collection of sticks
• some bits of crayon
• his case of colored pencils that I embroidered with his name (by hand! didn't know I was that talented, didja?)

After reading the above post, I was so thankful that my kids have more fun with rocks and sticks than with digital apparatus. And can I put in a shameless Golan Aliyah plug here? It helps that we live in a town where the kids can go play outside themselves, where the prominence of digital play pieces is extremely low, and where we have lots and lots of nature and animals 10 minutes walk in any direction!

Thanks for the inspiration! And thanks for sharing the post, Lenore, @FreeRangeKids!

My blogging as guided by a six yr old

Can you please tell me I'm not the only one - sometimes I just can't remember my kids' names! It's not that there are so many of them, but there are usually at least 7 other things going on in my brain while I am trying to address the concern of my little bundle of joy - whatshisname.

Today's episode - Netanel Chimes In

Mommy is cooking dinner in the kitchen, chopping carrots and sweet potatoes for red lentil soup (recipe below!). She just managed to put the baby down in the salon to play with his siblings, and is just beginning to feel the sweetness of working with two hands - when chaos strikes!

A toy was grabbed, hair was pulled, crying ensues...

Mommy (calling from the kitchen as she chooses between curry and cumin, finally deciding on both): Netanel, can you please help with sh-oh-ne- the- that-"

Netanel (incredulously): Yitzchak?

Mommy: Yes! Please help him to stop crying.

Netanel (now with impunity): Mooommy! What? You don't even know you're child's name? 

Mommy (absently, stirring the soup): sometimes.

Netanel (with the know-it-all essence only a six year old can convey): (chuckles) you don't even know your kids' names! Blog that!

So I did. :-)

Absent-minded One-handed Red Lentil Soup recipe:

Ingredients:

2 onions, chopped

3 carrots, chopped or grated

2 sweet potatoes, in chunks

1 apple, grated

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 liters of water

1 cup red lentils, rinsed

spices: salt, pepper, cumin, turmeric, curry, 1 bay leaf, 4 whole cloves, 4 dried myrtle berries

Sautee onion in olive oil over low heat (that way it doesn't burn while you run to wipe a nose, flush a toilet, sooth some tears, etc...)

add carrots, sweet potato, apple

add the ground spices and stir until aromatic

add garlic, sautee for about 30 seconds

add water, bring to a boil (you wanna raise the heat now!)

throw  in the lentils and the bay leaf, cloves and berries (if you're not sure what these are, you can skip them!)

Simmer for about an hour, remove bay leaf, cloves and berries, and hit that pot with an immersion blender!

(If it seems like it still needs something, it does - lemon juice. Squeeze in about a 1/4 cup of lemon juice and you will have soupy bliss!)

Yes, its a political post... so shoot me

A law was passed in the Knesset today that is very refreshing. As I read the article in the Jerusalem Post, I breathed a deep sigh of relief and offered thanks to The Holy One for a glimpse of the goodness so often hidden from our sight.

The law states that in order to hand over any annexed land (such as my home in the Golan for example) in a peace deal, the proposal would have to be approved by a super majority vote in the Knesset or a national referendum. Can I get a "Baruch Hashem!" (more appropriate in the this case than "Hell yeah!" but with a similar connotation)

I don't usually read the news, I find it too depressing, and anyway, what truth can you really get from the media? Take this enlightening little snippet that I came across yesterday about the alleged hoax of the Muhamed Al-Dura killing 10 years ago. It's stories like this that bastion my decision to stay far away from news reports...

But times have changed, and I find myself stumbling upon a news article here and there... and it's nice to finally see something heartening - until you read the appalling response of Kadima leader, Tzipi Livni to the bill. I'll quote it in just a second...

Israel is a democracy right? The only one in the Middle East - maybe that's why the definition can be applied to loosely? No one to compare to around here... As I read it, partly out loud for Yoram's benefit and to assure I was understanding it correctly, I got to the quote:

“The question today concerns national referendums in general and not the specific topic presented as part of this bill. There is a question of principle here, and it has nothing to do with who wants to give away parts of Israel,”

Here I stopped and interjected, "because god forbid we should actually give power to the people!" To which Yoram responded, "she actually said that?" I said no... until I kept reading...

Kadima Chairwoman Tzipi Livni told her faction during the meeting. “These are decisions that leaders who understand the scale of the problems and are exposed to all of its aspects are supposed to make. The public is not a substitute for good leadership.”

What??!!! Sorry, can I say that again... WHAT?!?!

Livni slammed Netanyahu, describing him as “a weak prime minister who finds it comfortable to be constrained,” and argued that the law “has nothing to do with right and left, but rather about how decisions are made in this democracy. There is one national referendum, and it is general elections.”

And in case you weren't sure yet about how Ms. Livni defines democracy, we have this lovely little nail to knock into the proverbial coffin:

“This is not a about asking the nation, but about giving a veto to decisions made by the elected government and the Knesset,” Livni complained. A large number of Kadima MKs, including Mofaz, indicated that they would not participate in the vote rather than vote against the measure. 

Choosing not to participate in the vote, dear Knesset Members is in direct opposition to the very concept of a democracy.

I love living here, and I believe with all my heart (however archaic) that this is the Land which was promised to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov to be inherited by their children for all time. I believe this is where the Jewish future is. But I think there is a lot of work to be done here.

That being said, I must also reiterate my infinite thanks to Hashem that this law did in fact pass and that if some upstart Leftist lunatic ever decides that we should be evacuated in favor of Syrian dominion over my home - at least I'll be able to throw in my vote and know it will be heard.

Dave Barry on birth in the modern world

In all relationships there are things that you bring and things that your husband brings, and even after 9 years, you can still pick up items and say, "oh, that B52's album is from my husbands pre-marriage days..." and other such things.

One of the things my beloved husband brought with him that I didn't think would interest me is a compilation of 4 Dave Barry books called, "All the Dave Barry You Could Ever Want" It would probably have remained on the shelf as a conversation piece if one of our good friends wasn't already a Dave Barry fan. Whenever he is over, he take it out to read. He happened to have left it out on the couch the last time he was here, and as I was sitting and nursing this evening, I decided to pick it up and randomly open it. And this is what I found:

In his book, "Dave Barry's Guide to Babies and Other Hazards of Sex" he talks about the cost of having a baby:

"In primitive times, having a baby was very inexpensive. When women were ready to give birth, they simply went off and squatted in a field; thiss cost nothing except for a nominal field rental charge. Today, of course, the medical profession prefers that you have your baby in a hospital, because only there can doctors, thanks to the many advances in medical equipment and techniques, receive large sums of money." 

Love it! 

I don't know if I'll ever listen to the B52's album, but after 8 and a half years of marriage, my husband's made a Dave Barry fan out of me!

Let's go to the movies...

I have a totally random thought that I decided to share... That's what blogging is all about right? :-)

This clip is from one of my all time favorite movies, Annie. And it illustrates an interesting point that came up today in conversation...



Somehow our lunch table conversation stumbled upon movies, "have you seen this Avatar yet?" and "Do you believe their releasing a Pirates of the Caribbean 4?!"

I don't mind discussing movies from an artistic perspective - the plot and script from a literary standpoint, the cinematography, and my favorite subject - the sociology of movies. What makes a movie popular? What demographic was it targeting and why did it succeed or not. One of my guests, a good friend, said she hates sequels, they are almost always a waste. She said she was so upset by the 2nd and 3rd Pirates movie, to which her husband added, "they should have just let that franchise die." And then my friend's next question was, "so when are we going to see Harry Potter 7?!"

Harry Potter is not something I am going to see in the theater, but I'll rent it I'm sure. Eventually our conversation turned to other things, and the subject was left off.

Then later this evening I was thinking about it. I actually enjoyed the Pirates trilogy, and although I won't rush to see it in theaters, I will probably watch the 4th movie as well. So does that make me dense, or uncultured, or part of the unthinking masses? I don't think so. I think it just depends on what one expects from their movie viewing experience.

I only watch a very specific kind of movie. A movie that is entertaining, and leaves me feeling happy and unviolated. I appreciate a witty and intelligent script, interesting cinematography and actors who take their work seriously - but not too seriously! I won't complain if the plot is exceptionally unique, the acting superb and the dialog scintillating, but I don't need it.

In the words of Martin Charnin, (who wrote the lyrics for the above number) "Only happy endings, that's our recipe..." That's a good movie for me!