My blogging as guided by a six yr old

Can you please tell me I'm not the only one - sometimes I just can't remember my kids' names! It's not that there are so many of them, but there are usually at least 7 other things going on in my brain while I am trying to address the concern of my little bundle of joy - whatshisname.

Today's episode - Netanel Chimes In

Mommy is cooking dinner in the kitchen, chopping carrots and sweet potatoes for red lentil soup (recipe below!). She just managed to put the baby down in the salon to play with his siblings, and is just beginning to feel the sweetness of working with two hands - when chaos strikes!

A toy was grabbed, hair was pulled, crying ensues...

Mommy (calling from the kitchen as she chooses between curry and cumin, finally deciding on both): Netanel, can you please help with sh-oh-ne- the- that-"

Netanel (incredulously): Yitzchak?

Mommy: Yes! Please help him to stop crying.

Netanel (now with impunity): Mooommy! What? You don't even know you're child's name? 

Mommy (absently, stirring the soup): sometimes.

Netanel (with the know-it-all essence only a six year old can convey): (chuckles) you don't even know your kids' names! Blog that!

So I did. :-)

Absent-minded One-handed Red Lentil Soup recipe:

Ingredients:

2 onions, chopped

3 carrots, chopped or grated

2 sweet potatoes, in chunks

1 apple, grated

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 liters of water

1 cup red lentils, rinsed

spices: salt, pepper, cumin, turmeric, curry, 1 bay leaf, 4 whole cloves, 4 dried myrtle berries

Sautee onion in olive oil over low heat (that way it doesn't burn while you run to wipe a nose, flush a toilet, sooth some tears, etc...)

add carrots, sweet potato, apple

add the ground spices and stir until aromatic

add garlic, sautee for about 30 seconds

add water, bring to a boil (you wanna raise the heat now!)

throw  in the lentils and the bay leaf, cloves and berries (if you're not sure what these are, you can skip them!)

Simmer for about an hour, remove bay leaf, cloves and berries, and hit that pot with an immersion blender!

(If it seems like it still needs something, it does - lemon juice. Squeeze in about a 1/4 cup of lemon juice and you will have soupy bliss!)

Yes, its a political post... so shoot me

A law was passed in the Knesset today that is very refreshing. As I read the article in the Jerusalem Post, I breathed a deep sigh of relief and offered thanks to The Holy One for a glimpse of the goodness so often hidden from our sight.

The law states that in order to hand over any annexed land (such as my home in the Golan for example) in a peace deal, the proposal would have to be approved by a super majority vote in the Knesset or a national referendum. Can I get a "Baruch Hashem!" (more appropriate in the this case than "Hell yeah!" but with a similar connotation)

I don't usually read the news, I find it too depressing, and anyway, what truth can you really get from the media? Take this enlightening little snippet that I came across yesterday about the alleged hoax of the Muhamed Al-Dura killing 10 years ago. It's stories like this that bastion my decision to stay far away from news reports...

But times have changed, and I find myself stumbling upon a news article here and there... and it's nice to finally see something heartening - until you read the appalling response of Kadima leader, Tzipi Livni to the bill. I'll quote it in just a second...

Israel is a democracy right? The only one in the Middle East - maybe that's why the definition can be applied to loosely? No one to compare to around here... As I read it, partly out loud for Yoram's benefit and to assure I was understanding it correctly, I got to the quote:

“The question today concerns national referendums in general and not the specific topic presented as part of this bill. There is a question of principle here, and it has nothing to do with who wants to give away parts of Israel,”

Here I stopped and interjected, "because god forbid we should actually give power to the people!" To which Yoram responded, "she actually said that?" I said no... until I kept reading...

Kadima Chairwoman Tzipi Livni told her faction during the meeting. “These are decisions that leaders who understand the scale of the problems and are exposed to all of its aspects are supposed to make. The public is not a substitute for good leadership.”

What??!!! Sorry, can I say that again... WHAT?!?!

Livni slammed Netanyahu, describing him as “a weak prime minister who finds it comfortable to be constrained,” and argued that the law “has nothing to do with right and left, but rather about how decisions are made in this democracy. There is one national referendum, and it is general elections.”

And in case you weren't sure yet about how Ms. Livni defines democracy, we have this lovely little nail to knock into the proverbial coffin:

“This is not a about asking the nation, but about giving a veto to decisions made by the elected government and the Knesset,” Livni complained. A large number of Kadima MKs, including Mofaz, indicated that they would not participate in the vote rather than vote against the measure. 

Choosing not to participate in the vote, dear Knesset Members is in direct opposition to the very concept of a democracy.

I love living here, and I believe with all my heart (however archaic) that this is the Land which was promised to Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov to be inherited by their children for all time. I believe this is where the Jewish future is. But I think there is a lot of work to be done here.

That being said, I must also reiterate my infinite thanks to Hashem that this law did in fact pass and that if some upstart Leftist lunatic ever decides that we should be evacuated in favor of Syrian dominion over my home - at least I'll be able to throw in my vote and know it will be heard.

Dave Barry on birth in the modern world

In all relationships there are things that you bring and things that your husband brings, and even after 9 years, you can still pick up items and say, "oh, that B52's album is from my husbands pre-marriage days..." and other such things.

One of the things my beloved husband brought with him that I didn't think would interest me is a compilation of 4 Dave Barry books called, "All the Dave Barry You Could Ever Want" It would probably have remained on the shelf as a conversation piece if one of our good friends wasn't already a Dave Barry fan. Whenever he is over, he take it out to read. He happened to have left it out on the couch the last time he was here, and as I was sitting and nursing this evening, I decided to pick it up and randomly open it. And this is what I found:

In his book, "Dave Barry's Guide to Babies and Other Hazards of Sex" he talks about the cost of having a baby:

"In primitive times, having a baby was very inexpensive. When women were ready to give birth, they simply went off and squatted in a field; thiss cost nothing except for a nominal field rental charge. Today, of course, the medical profession prefers that you have your baby in a hospital, because only there can doctors, thanks to the many advances in medical equipment and techniques, receive large sums of money." 

Love it! 

I don't know if I'll ever listen to the B52's album, but after 8 and a half years of marriage, my husband's made a Dave Barry fan out of me!

Let's go to the movies...

I have a totally random thought that I decided to share... That's what blogging is all about right? :-)

This clip is from one of my all time favorite movies, Annie. And it illustrates an interesting point that came up today in conversation...



Somehow our lunch table conversation stumbled upon movies, "have you seen this Avatar yet?" and "Do you believe their releasing a Pirates of the Caribbean 4?!"

I don't mind discussing movies from an artistic perspective - the plot and script from a literary standpoint, the cinematography, and my favorite subject - the sociology of movies. What makes a movie popular? What demographic was it targeting and why did it succeed or not. One of my guests, a good friend, said she hates sequels, they are almost always a waste. She said she was so upset by the 2nd and 3rd Pirates movie, to which her husband added, "they should have just let that franchise die." And then my friend's next question was, "so when are we going to see Harry Potter 7?!"

Harry Potter is not something I am going to see in the theater, but I'll rent it I'm sure. Eventually our conversation turned to other things, and the subject was left off.

Then later this evening I was thinking about it. I actually enjoyed the Pirates trilogy, and although I won't rush to see it in theaters, I will probably watch the 4th movie as well. So does that make me dense, or uncultured, or part of the unthinking masses? I don't think so. I think it just depends on what one expects from their movie viewing experience.

I only watch a very specific kind of movie. A movie that is entertaining, and leaves me feeling happy and unviolated. I appreciate a witty and intelligent script, interesting cinematography and actors who take their work seriously - but not too seriously! I won't complain if the plot is exceptionally unique, the acting superb and the dialog scintillating, but I don't need it.

In the words of Martin Charnin, (who wrote the lyrics for the above number) "Only happy endings, that's our recipe..." That's a good movie for me!

Uncomfortably numb...

It took me until this minute and writing the title for this post to realize that what I'm experiencing is actually numbness... the question is why?

We have a big decision in front of us right now, and it's weighing so heavily in me that I can't even feel it. The number of factors and variables seem endless and the consequences of a wrong decision would add significant difficulty to our lives. I guess my heart knows that if it would also contribute to the situation by adding the emotional aspect of the choices, I'd just collapse, so I think that's why I've gone numb... and yet, the drum is still beating and a decision must be reached.

I'm hoping that writing will help, so you're along for the ride - and comments are sooo very welcome!

We came to the Golan w/ a dream of living on a moshav (small settlement) and having some land to have a homestead. We came to Katzerin b/c there was no place  to rent on any of the religious moshavs, and we weren't (are still not) in a position to buy anything. 

We've been in Katzerin for a year and a half now. We have friends, we love our neighbors, we've become the unofficial "absorption center" and "guest house" of Katzerin and we love it! But we don't have room for even a garden. (Although we do have a lemon tree!) Anyway, just when we thought we'd push off our decision of where in the Golan to settle down for another year, our landlord called to tell us that they want to sell the house. So we won't be renewing this lease... and now we have to make a decision... 

Now I need to backtrack... A few months ago I visited Avnei Eitan to pick something up. It is a beautiful settlement where lots of people have animals, and most are farmers. The yishuv had recently closed their absorption process because they were over capacity and had no new lots available. When I left, I told my husband that I think I'd like to live there if they were still accepting new families. It just resonated with me. But no klita meant I didn't have to think about it anymore b/c it's not an option...

... 2 weeks ago I started a new job as client manager for a tourism company in Avnei Eitan. Since we don't have a car at the moment, I have been working mainly from home with the idea of going in once a week via hitchhiking... I don't mind being in the office, but I find that I waste a lot of time getting back and forth and I'm more productive at home...

... the local weekly magazine has a real estate section in which there is a separate column for rentals in the settlements. Every week I look there and say - "some day a rental is going to be posted here in one of the religious places, and we're just going to go!" Last Friday a listing appeared for a rental in... Avnei Eitan. 

I saw the house today. It is small. 2 bedrooms, 1 bath in 72 meters. But this little house is situated on 3000 sq. meters, and the view from the back yard is to die for. It is also being completely gutted and redone (although not expanded) so it will be brand new. My new boss is also on the yishuv board. He let me in on the scoop that there will be land available to build on within the next 2 years (the term of the lease on this house) it will not include farm land though. 

What would this all mean? It would mean we have the opportunity to give our dream a try. We'd have two years to live on the yishuv, and have our homestead, we'd have the opportunity to get information on possibly renting farmland once we would decide to build, and we would know the truth about our ability to live our dream. 

So what is the catch? Here's the downside of all this:

1. Living in a smaller place means no guests (although I'm sure neighbors would be willing to host family, and there are also lovely zimmers available for rent)

2. Living outside of Katzerin makes not having a car much more difficult and buying a car now would deplete our "building fund"

3. Living oustide of Katzerin means that we won't be the "absorption center" of Katzerin anymore.

4. We really like our friends here, and our neighbors. Although I can answer this concern, since Katzerin is the "city" of the Golan, we would still be in contact with our friends here and would probably see them fairly often as we would likely be travelling back and forth somewhat regularly. And Avnei Eitan is only 25 minutes from Katzerin, so going visiting is not that big a deal.

How would I handle being so limited in having guests? Even for meals, it would be tight in the space, although for most of the year eating outside is a comfortable option.

I know there are people who live on the yishuv without a car, and just as our current plan is to occasionally rent a car, we could still do that there.

Just when we were starting to feel like we could breathe we are back to feeling completely unsettled! 

My faith is unwavering, I know that everything is from Hashem and on one hand I feel compelled to follow the pretty obvious signs that I'm being given, but doesn't it just seem a little too easy?? Can we really have reached that stage of closeness and connection that our needs would just be handed to us, so very neatly?

My gut is telling me to go with it, make the move and don't look back. "Keep moving forward" as another legendary dreamer once said... So what do you think??? 

There's one more little experience to add to this... this afternoon as I turned all this over in my mind one of the thoughts that came to me was that in the yishuvim there are very few lights at night, so one could sit outside one's house a really see the starts. Katzerin, despite it's relative tininess compared to actual cities, still has a full array of street lights blighting all but the brightest stars and planets. But then I thought, "but come on, how really important is that anyway." About 2 hours ago, the entire city lost power, my kids were already asleep, so I went outside and sat on the bench in front of my house... and looked up at the clear, moonless, cloudless sky. I felt like I was being shown a slice of eternity. Nostalgia for summers camping in Lake George kicked in very strong, and I thought, "if we rent that house, I could do this every night." 

Fresh bread and butter... heaven!

The most delicious thing in the world, in my opinion, is a generous glob of butter spread on fresh-out-of-the-oven bread. Sprinkle on some sea salt, and life just got even better!

So due to popular demand ;-) here is my favorite
Quick and Easy Bread Recipe (that you can even make by hand!)

Ingredients:
4-6 cups flour (any type, I use 100% Whole Wheat and it comes out awesome!)
2 Tbs yeast
2 Tbs brown sugar or honey
1 Tbs kosher salt
3 cups warm water
(for crusty bread: a cake pan of hot water)

Directions:
proof yeast  w/ water and sugar
In a large bowl combine 3 cups flour with the salt
Add the bubbly yeast mixture a little at a time while stirring (I like to use the "Well" method, if you're not familiar, leave a comment!)
cover and let stand for about 20 minutes
Add enough flour to make a soft but sturdy dough
Form into 2 round loaves, or 10-12 rolls, whatever suits your needs
cover and let rise 30 minutes
run a knife over the top of each loaf to allow air to escape during baking (make a very shallow cut)

Put the bread in a cold oven and turn on to 400F/205C
place a cake pan of hot water on the bottom rack of the oven for crusty bread!
Bake for 40 min for loaves, 1/2 hour for rolls

As soon as it's cool enough to handle, cut yourself a slice and spread some butter on it, your tastebuds will love you forever!!

Enjoy!

Little bits of silliness after bedtime

I'll spare you all the apologies for the pathetic and inexcusable hiatus since my last post in June... :-) Let's just jump back in now, shall we?

Tonight I let Netanel stay up late. Yoram's working the night shift this week (damn harvest!), Odeliya and Yitzchak hadn't napped and therefore fell asleep easily and early, so I got to hang out with my little man.

After hearing some great stories, seeing his latest paper airplane flight tests, and talking about the seven noahide laws  (hehehe!!)... Netanel was finally in pj's and lying in my bed. I let. Netanel is still talking, he's telling me about space monkeys and swinging on rubber bands and about proper body mechanics for swinging through the jungle, and I would really like him to say shema and fall asleep. But he's so cute, and when do I ever really get to listen to him and spend time with him alone? The dishes can wait, the toys can be picked up tomorrow... so then he says that something "sucks" and I'm back in the present and this is where the fun begins...

Me: Netanel, I know you've heard that word, and it's not that it's a bad word, but it is, well, you only use that word when you really mean it.
Netanel: Well what does it mean?
Me: (chuckle) It means really bad, like "על הפנים" ("al hapanim" lit. "on the face")
Netanel: (a look of understanding flashes in his eyes, followed by a glint of mischief) You know what else is "al hapanim"? When someone throws a pillow and (he pulls the pillow out from under his head) it lands like this (pulling it over his face) that's al hapanim too.
Me: (I get it...) and you know what else is al hapanim? This mosquito bite (pointing to his forehead)
Now I take my phone off the night table and in a mock annoyed voice I say, while putting the phone on his face, "This phone is על הפנים!" now the stuffed animal, "look, meow is al hapanim!" (giggles from netanel, smiles from ear to ear)

We went back and forth for a while thinking of things that would be "on the face" in more way than one. And at the end of a long week like this one, at the beginning of another long night till Yoram comes home, I was reminded, once again, of what I love about being a mother.

The best teacher...

....experience, but it can also cause the most heartbreak. This is a beautiful and informative blog post about an OB/GYN's experiential realizations about birth.
My heart is with you, Dr. Poppy! And may your words be the voice of experience for others.

http://www.drpoppy.com/wordpress/?p=116

It is long, but a very worthwhile read.

March 19th, 2010

As I type, I look over at my one-week old baby zonked out in his cradle swing and am in awe at how awesome his arrival was.  Instead of having my third c-section as scheduled, I went into labor on my own (first time in 5 tries) and delivered him (precipitously in fact), one hour before I was to arrive at the hospital for my surgery.  I find this wonderful and quite ironic in light of the recent NIH VBAC conference in Bethesda, MD;  I had just downloaded the consensus statement and was digesting it while awaiting my baby’s arrival (more on that later).

In order to tell the story of how I ended up with a surprise VBAC, I have to start at the beginning of my long and adventurous reproductive journey.  My first pregnancy ended in the first trimester with a miscarriage and heavy bleeding requiring a D&C to stop it.  I was a OB/Gyn resident at the time and was surrounded by high risk OB patients every day.  I trained in downtown Philadelphia where an addicted mom with no prenatal care could deliver on one end of the hall, while a high risk IVFer from the Main Line might be delivering on the other end.  Although we worked side by side with midwives, we only became involved if their patients developed complications or needed a C-section.  Needless to say, like most OB residents, my experience with normal, low-risk physiological birth was minimal.  Being pregnant in this environment and then losing the baby certainly colored my perspective.  Like any mom who loses a first baby, I was troubled with the worry that I wouldn’t be able to have another baby, so that when I did become pregnant again, I embraced the “we have to be very careful and be supervised very closely with this one” approach.  I worked up until term, 36 hr shifts, 100 hr work-weeks, having to turn sideways at the operating table at the end, and then it was decided that I should be induced at 39 weeks due to gestational hypertension.  There were no signs of pre-eclampsia and the pressures were not sky-high, but at the time, I fell into the “you’re term, what’s the need to take a chance” mentality and was scheduled for an induction.  I went in at night for prostaglandin gel due to an unripe cervix (should have known better) followed by Pitocin the next morning.  I labored all day, getting the obligatory epidural that a Pitocin induction necessitates, finally getting to complete around 8 pm.  I pushed for 2 1/2 hrs, I used the bar, the sheet, everything the hospital approach has to offer…but the baby was OP and would not rotate with “all” of our maneuvers and so I received a C-section for “arrest of descent.”  Happy as I was with my new son, everyone who has labored and then had surgery, knows the pain that you are in for.  I wasn’t disappointed in the C-section because at that time, I was still fully entrenched in the “at least I have a healthy baby” mindset.

Despite that experience, I always wanted to have a vaginal birth and since most university hospitals were still doing them regularly (’03), I chose a new doctor whose obstetrical/surgical skills I trusted who would support by desire for VBAC.  My pressures started acting up again so I was slated for induction, although this time my cervix was riper and I went right in for Pitocin.  They did one of the most inhumane things which was to artifically rupture my membranes on Pitocin in the active phase of labor.  Needless to say, an epidural was imperative but I almost couldn’t sit for it due to the pain.  This time I pushed for 3 hours, hard pushing, hands and knees at one point (I must have learned something from the midwives), and ended up with a vacuum extraction and a fractured coccyx, from a 7#14oz baby.  He had jaundice and a cephalohematoma but hey, I got my VBAC.  He today is honored to say, “I broke mom’s butt when I was born.”

Baby number 3 was an easier pregnancy although this time I added on gestational diabetes so that plus the usual spike in blood pressures brought us back to induction.  Although he was my smallest baby, 7#, he still was delivered by vacuum although my butt remained intact.  With baby number 4, I figured another VBAC was practically guaranteed so I didn’t resist the induction assuming the last birth meant smoother sailing now.  This time they decided to start the Pitocin the night before, but instead of staying at a low dose overnight, the nurse kept coming in and increasing the dosage.  I knew I wasn’t progressing because I was not in active labor, so I questioned her about the dose, reminding her that I did have a scarred uterus.  She responded that everything looked fine but she would stop until morning.  Morning arrived with the usual course of epidural, AROM and increasing Pitocin.  When it came time to push, within 20 minutes, I knew something was wrong.  Despite the epidural, I could tell he wasn’t coming down with my pushing and by the frazzled looks of everyone in the room, I knew the heart tones were dropping.  I looked at my husband and told him we needed to stop.  By the time they got down to the uterus in the OR, it became clear that if we wouldn’t have stopped, I would have had a uterine rupture.  As it was, I had what is called a uterine window, they were able to see the baby’s hair through a very thin lower uterine segment.

Finally, I made the connection between the induction and the narrow avoidance of catastrophe.   So with baby number five, I knew I did not want another induction.  Interestingly, this pregnancy was also my healthiest.  I had made a concentrated effort before becoming pregnant to address my diet and treat my vitamin deficiencies, so I had no blood sugar or blood pressure problems, kept my weight gain to 15 pounds and did not have any obstetric problems other than being an advanced maternal age grandmultipara with a history of 2 c-sections!  Knowing that I had never gone into spontaneous labor, I felt the safest route was to do a scheduled repeat C-section at 40 weeks.  I did put it into God’s hands and had been in prayer that I was open to the baby coming forth in whatever way he was supposed to…and so I went into spontaneous labor at 2 am, the morning of surgery, got to the hospital at 4:30 and was 9 cm dilated.  The staff asked me what I wanted to do and I said, “I’m going to have him!”  They also offered me an epidural (too late for that) and IV pain meds (I certainly didn’t want a narced up baby), so unmedicated it was, and he was born at 5:13 AM, a beautiful, alert 7#11oz baby boy who latched right on and has been peaceful ever since.  Not having to recover from an extensive surgery was a gift for which I continue to be amazed and grateful.

Reflecting back over my journey, I see how much the field of obstetrics has managed to contribute and sometimes outright cause complications, all the while assuming they are just keeping everyone safer.  And I see how much fear has overtaken the natural birthing process.  I’ve said before that shows like Deliver Me, A Baby Story, and Birth Day should be renamed “Fear Factor” because they play on a woman’s often natural concerns about the birth by portraying the whole process as highly dramatic, with a woman strapped down and hooked up, by a doctor gowned and gloved like an alien visitor and often highlighting very anxious family members.  Sure a woman has fear, fear that something is going to happen to her or the baby, fear of pain, fear of failure, that she just won’t be able to “do it.”  Add in snarky, cynical nurses and doctors who ridicule anyone who seems to want to be in charge of her birth (after all we’re the experts)…limited labor support or assistance in the form of doulas or labor coaches except in certain areas…restricted mobility, food and drink…and almost endless interventions and you have potential for trouble.  We have cultivated an environment that this is normal, and somehow now some women even find value in being “risky.”  My mentor, Dr. Lauren Plante, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist who had two midwife-attended home births, wrote about this in anessay entitled “Mommy, what did you do in the industrial revolution?”  Meditations on the rising cesarean rate:  “Although the inherent literal meaning of the high-risk pregnancy is one that entails a higher risk of a poor outcome (for mother or baby), the sub-text seems to be that high-risk equals high-value…is it the Disneyfication of a primal human endeavor, longing for the synthetic and dramatized in preference to the authentic?”  In other words, do we have more regard for the Main-Liner’s IVF-achieved pregnancy who has an elective c-section over the addicted mother’s unmedicated spontaneous birth?

All of the repeat C-sections and almost extinction of VBAC, have not really prevented poor outcomes as revealed by the NIH VBAC conference.  Women who have a trial of labor after a previous cesarean have a lower risk of maternal mortality compared to those who have a repeat cesarean.  Although there is a higher risk of uterine rupture with trial of labor, spontaneous labor versus induction has the lowest risk.  And there have been no reports of maternal mortality due to uterine rupture (we were constantly told…mother and baby could die with VBAC).  Repeat C-sections are also associated with an increased risk of abnormal placental position and growth in subsequent pregnancies, which also increases risk of cesarean hysterectomy.  Although there is an increased risk of perinatal mortality with trial of labor, the risk is small and not that different from a laboring woman with her first pregnancy.  Issues related to medical liability are a big concern for many practitioners, a fact that could be alleviated or helped by tort reform and hospitals assuming some malpractice costs up front.  In our local hospital, although the hospital allows VBACs, there is at least one doctor who simply doesn’t want to take any risk and personally won’t do VBACs.  This approach is unfortunate since the overall finding of the NIH conference is that trial of labor is a safe option for many women and that women should be fully informed so that they may make the best decision for them.  ACOG certainly needs to revise its mandate that anesthesia and c-section should be available immediately so that more rural hospitals can still offer VBAC to their patients without feeling they are not within standard of care.  Can you imagine if I had been in a VBAC-banned hospital and been forced to have surgery at 9 cm dilated?  Can you imagine how that would have increased my potential for morbidity and even mortality?  Should everyone have a VBAC?  No, but every woman should still have the opportunity to discuss her personal issues and whether it could be an option for her, and she should be not be forced to have surgery against her will due to a medically-unsubstantiated VBAC ban.  We should continue to make efforts to reduce medically unnecessary inductions for mom and baby’s well-being, we should attempt to humanize cesareans for moms who need to have them, we should properly evaluate and assess each VBAC individually to decrease risk, and we should place natural labor and birth back into the realm of the norm, with the interventions and surgeries reserved for the truly high-risk.

Tzachi is walking!

I'm sooo in for it!

Live and let die

This morning I went to refill Netanel's water bottle, and found little particles floating around in the bottle - mmm, kiddie backwash... Anyway... I decided that our mint plant would probably appreciate it more than me, so I went out to the porch to give dear Nana a drink. As I turned to go back inside I heard a crunch and pulled back my foot so fast I almost fell.

Sure enough, I had crushed a large cockroach. Gross. I'm not a huge fan of the things, although I'm not sure why. They really are just ugly and large, not harmful... and we actually don't ever see them in the house (thank The Holy Protector Of Bugs and People!) and normally, when I have caught one outside, I just kick it into the garden and send it on it's merry way... so I was unprepared for my inadvertent murder.

When I came back inside, Netanel asked me why I shrieked. So I told him. His first reaction was, "Can I see?!"

We stopped to look at the poor, inverted thing with its guts splayed about it, and he said, "It's ok, Mommy, the ants will come eat it!" So I'm fully impressed at this point by my son's grasp of the "Great Circle of Life" but then it gets better.

I didn't want to leave it on the porch, so I got the broom and swept it off to the pavement. And then my son sighed, "Chaval! (loosely translated as "too bad") You moved the ants' food! Look," pointing to a few ants marching across the porch, "they were already on their way!"

I reassured him that the ants would find their succulent breakfast, and we made our way to preschool.

I love my kids!

The non-existential post

There's something brewing just under the surface of my consciousness, and it's not the coffee. It's a transformation I'm experiencing and I have been trying to express it in words for the past month to no avail.

Yesterday I applied myself to the task. The house was quiet, Yoram was doing work for a client, the kids were asleep, I'd had a productive day. I opened up a new post in blogger and started to write - nothing. I tried WordPress, thinking it might help to use a different format. Still nothing. So I shut off the internet and opened a document in OpenOffice, thinking that if I treat it as a random piece of writing as opposed to something I plan on sharing with the world, maybe the creative juices would start flowing... Not even a sentence emerged.

I closed my computer, and dug out a pen and a paper notebook - I abandoned the idea of a title or any purpose at all, just allowed the pen to flow along the sheets of lined paper... It did flow, which I discovered when I woke up half an hour later with ink marks on my hand and my cheek!

So I've decided to let that go for now. Apparently this new experience is not ready to have an expression outside of myself yet. 

Since I am sure that you are now reading this feeling very let down and disappointed, fear not! I will not leave you thus sulking in uncertainty and anticipation! I will leave you with something much more substantial and exciting than the expression of my existential transformation could possibly achieve...

Recipes! 

I made a really delicious salmon for Shavuot that was inspired by a recipe in Sally Fallon's book Nourishing Traditions. I humbly submit it for your enjoyment:

Salmon and Scallions

Ingredients:

• 5-7 salmon fillets
• bunch of green onions (scallions) chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped or crushed
• 1" chunk of ginger, grated
• 1/4 C soy sauce
• 1/4 C rice vinegar
• 1/4 C honey
• juice of 1 lemon
• salt and pepper

Instructions:

• preheat oven to 350F/190C 
• lightly grease a 9x13 pan or use parchment paper
• lay fillets, skin side down in the pan
• sprinkle chopped scallions over salmon
• in a bowl combine the rest of the ingredients and pour over salmon
• cover tightly and bake 15-20 minutes until just done.
• toasted sesame seeds (I prefer toasting them myself, just toss them in a hot skillet until they get brown - but careful not to let them burn!)

I served this at room temperature and then again the next day (and then again a few days later!)

Leftovers keep very well in the fridge

So what are you serving this with?? 

How about:

Sweet and Spicy Veggies w/ Rice

Ingredients:

• 1 cup rice, cooked*
• 4-5 large carrots cut into coins
• 1 bunch spinach
• 3 Tbs butter or oil
• 1/4 C honey
• 1/2 tsp grated ginger
• 2 cloves garlic, crushed
• salt and pepper

Instructions:

*You can prepare any rice you like in your favorite way. My personal favorite is whole grain basmati rice which I toast with some olive oil before adding boiling water. 

• wash spinach but don't dry it, just shake off excess water, set aside.
• In a medium saucepan (larger than 2 quarts) melt butter over med heat
• Add carrots and stir to coat
• Cover pot and cook carrots until they just begin to soften (~3-5 min) 
• Add spinach and stir
• Cover pot again and cook another 5 minutes (just enough for the spinach to get wilted and the carrots to soften)
• add the rest of the ingredients and stir to coat
• cook, covered, another 5 minutes
• toss over rice and serve!

The nutritional benefits of this complete meal are fantastic! The combination of the fish with the rice and lightly cooked vegetables ensure that all the nutrients: protein, calcium, iron, carotenes, Vitamins B and C (just to name a few!) are all at their highest levels of bio-availability! (that means your body will actually be able to absorb and use the nutrients in this meal when it is served together.)

בתאבון!

Enjoy!

Lucky/Unlucky Me

There are always leftovers of the lunches from my son's preschool. Most of the time someone knows someone who could really use free food. But occasionally it's offered up to the first parent to arrive at pick up with a car.

Today I was the lucky one. Since there's no school tomorrow I decided, "what they hey? It'll make my life a little easier tomorrow." So I left with a large plastic bag of gov't issue preschool lunch. Then I got home and looked at what it was.

Unlike my experience in my son's NJ school, we do not receive a menu, and although I ask Netanel what he eats for lunch, I don't always get a straight answer. So this was my first exposure to the actual food that he is being served on a daily basis. I was devastated.

In one plastic container, I found greasy pasta which seemed to be seasoned with soup mix. The second container had canned green beans in a watery red sauce. I can only assume there was a protein main dish that had been finished. Based on what I was looking at for sides, I can only imagine that the main dish was something just as pitiful. Fried, breaded chicken breast? Maybe.

I feel defeated! In my house we eat only whole wheat flour, we stay away from refined sugars, we eat mostly vegetables and fruit, grains and legumes. We have limited dairy intake too. Netanel's behavior is so easily affected by his food, so I try to be very vigilant over what he eats. Why should he be reprimanded for behavior problems caused by the food I give him? If I allow him the occasional treat, we discuss it before hand. I ask him, "Who's in control, Netanel? You or the sugar?" And he tells me that he is, and I tell him that if he is unable to control himself, I will restrain him, and then he can choose to eat the treat or not. Now I feel as if all my hard work is a complete waste of time!

I want to take on the system, get in touch with the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Health, and start a campaign to bring healthy food to our children. I know it's been done in other places, and I think it's even being done here in some areas of the country. At the same time, I'm so reluctant to take something else onto my heavily burdened shoulders.

This is Netanel's last year in Gan, but next year Odeliya will be starting, with Yitzchak not far behind. Something needs to be done about this, and soon. I am so open to ideas of how to go about this, or maybe even find other people who are already working on getting healthy, fresh food to our kids' schools who's bandwagon I can conveniently jump on.

Till then, I'm going to sleep.

Really useful magic

I know that following my last post, one might think that there is a running theme here, but really this is entirely unrelated. This is something that has been on my mind for a while, probably since my daughter was born 3 years ago. That's when I realized that to juggle motherhood, wifing (apparently, that's a word, since my spell check isn't underlining it!), running a business and staying conscious was going to require a lot more coffee!

Israel is a coffee culture, not like in the NY metro area (where I spent most of my life), where it's mostly "grab n' go." In Israel, it is not uncommon to see a man sitting alone on his porch in the middle of the day, one leg crossed over the other, with a glass (yes, glass) of turkish coffee in his hand. People sit and drink coffee here, whether alone or in small groups. So I fit right in! Although, I grind my coffee and brew it in a filter, and most Israelis will either drink turkish coffee or instant. But I've converted quite a few of my friends to filtered coffee since I've been here.

So now we come to my dilemma. My amazingly wonderful husband usually sets up the coffee maker before he goes to work, so that when I come downstairs, I only have to turn it on. Lately, I've decided to wait to brew my coffee until I get home from dropping Tani and Odeliya off at gan. The routine goes something like this:

I bring Yitzchak inside, he's whining because he wants to nurse. I know that if I sit down and nurse him, he'll fall asleep, but there's no guarantee that he'll let me put him down. I'd love to be able to sit and enjoy my coffe alone, but I'm also not sure I want to wait that long. After a few seconds of internal turmoil over whether to brew or not to brew, I usually decide to brew the coffee, fill my mug and then sit down to nurse.

Inevitably, a few minutes after I've drained the cup, I distractedly pick up my mug to take another sip, and I'm always disappointed to find it empty. I don't want another full cup of coffee, just a few more sips, and it's not like I'm drinking your standard 8-9oz mug, my coffee mugs are all 16 oz!

So if I had one wish, and I know this is pretty pathetic, but it would be that when I brew a cup of coffee it would magically refill itself until I am fully satisfied. Sometimes you just need a good, long cup of joe!

Why do they celebrate Christmas at Hogwarts?

I've been sick with the flu for a week, and while I debated posting a deep spiritual awakening that I experienced... well, I figured I'd start with something a little more light-hearted. Especially since I still feel like my cerebrospinal fluid is solidifying and threatening to cause my skull to explode. (In other words, I still have a pretty bad headache.)

So, on with our post. With all due respect to Ms. Rowling, who I'm sure was less concerned with historical accuracy than with relevance for her audience, but wouldn't it be more appropriate for a castle full of witches and wizards to celebrate Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox? Those were, after all, the original pagan celebrations of the seasons. But more disturbing is the fact that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christianity, which was responsible for eradicating anyone who was suspected of magical affiliation, i.e. our lovable young Harry and his delightful little friends, they would have all been mercilessly burned at the stake, their homes and families destroyed by the agents of the religion who's holiday they are celebrating. (sorry for the gruesome imagery, it's the CFS...;-)

Don't get me wrong, Jewish law also deals severely with Jews who dabble in magical arenas, but since the Harry Potter books make no reference to Judaism - except maybe to insinuate that all good Jews practice dentistry... well, anyway, we're just going to keep us out of this particular conversation.

In the meantime, to all you magical beings out there, you should know that I am peeved on your behalf.

How to Bite Noses without Getting Snot on Your Teeth

Last night Netanel crawled into my bed to say goodnight as I was finishing up the 4th Harry Potter book after only 4 days.
He was noticeably impressed, "Mommy, you are a really speedy reader!"
"Well, you have to be a speedy reader, cuz there's so so much to read!" I quoted from "I Can Read with my Eyes Shut" by Dr. Suess.
"But how am I going to ever be a speedy reader?" The light waning ever so slightly from his impish grin.
"Actually, the only way to become a speedy reader is to start out being a veeeerry slooooow reeeaaader.That's how I got to read so fast. When I was your age, I felt the same way."
And then we started quoting the Dr. Seuss book again. "And when I keep them open/ I can read with much more speed./ You have to be a speedy reader/ 'cause there's so so much to read."
And we were giggling, and then he said, "Like how to bite noses without getting snot on your teeth!"

And then we were more than giggling, we were laughing our veritable tushies off!
"Where did you hear of that one?" Yoram asked, recovering his breath.
"No, Abba, I'm going to write it." Netanel answered evenly, with full confidence.

Yes you will, my sweet one. One day soon, you will.

Channeling Harry Chapin

You all remember this song, right?



today I watched Netanel take a blank piece of paper and turn it into something that made me cry. First he took a blue crayon and started making a 1 inch wide slab of sky at the top of the page and I knew that the orange triangle of sunshine in the corner would be next, followed by a mirrored green slab at the bottom and some lollipop flowers. I had to do something quck! "Oh! is that blue water?"
He didn't skip a beat, flipped the page over and said, "yes!"
Then there were waves and green seaweed floating and finally, inevitably, the orange glowing triangle in the corner. "What's that?" I asked
"The sun."
"Oh, what other colors are in sun?"
He reached for yellow, and red, and we even put some dark blue around the edge and then some more red and orange...
What happened to my Tani and his free expression?! Why have we not learned how to educate our children without extinguishing their creative spirit? Why is it impossible to differentiate between the paintings and drawings of any child in a kindergarten class?

I want a different life for my children than the one I have. A life where anything is possible, where creativity is rewarded and linear analytical thinking is not the only way to solve a problem.

One morning I watched him do a matching activity with the teacher. He had a card with 6 fish tails on it and you had to find the fish that matched the tails. He took in all six images and began pulling matches out of the box, but the teacher made him put them back and go in order. I wanted to cry. He does not have to do them in order! He does not have to change the way he naturally solves that problem! I'm not saying that we shouldn't offer children other ways of finding solutions, but we have to encourage their own natural abilities and ways of thinking.

Because there are so many colors in the rainbow! But who sees them anymore? How can anyone fix the problems with education when we are all products of the education system we are seeking to change?

What have I done?!?!

Isn't she adorable?












Yes, that's our backyard.












But she's not ours..... at least not yet.

She's a 2 month old Mini Pinscher-labrador mix that belongs to a neighbor. They're giving all the puppies away, and we were unfortunate enough to pass by this afternoon. The kids fell in love - including Tzachi! Until one of the pups mistook him for a dog and fraternally bit his face! (not hard! but he was startled enough.)

Then I saw her, the smallest of the litter, wandering off by herself, and when she came to me I noticed that she has one blue eye and one brown. Eitan, their owner, saw the look in my eye.
"They don't need special food, they eat scraps from the table. See, this is their mother, this is how big they get."
The gears started turning, the heartstrings churned...
Yoram met us there after work.
"What do you think? Maybe we could take one for a week and see how it goes?"
Yoram, strong, practical Yoram, he melted.
"Take her," said Eitan. "If you don't bring her back in a week, she's yours."

So... anyone have any name suggestions?  

When does Hashem rest?

I've been trying to make time to say morning prayers with Netanel this week, since he's been home. Although I spend most of my day praying - which is to say that I am constantly asking for guidance and help, and saying thank you, etc,... I haven't been very diligent lately about saying any canonized prayers. So it's been a nice opportunity for me too.

This morning I stood up for a part of the Tefilla and Netanel actually lay down on the couch.
"Netanel," says I, "you shouldn't lay down when your davening, it's not respectful to Hashem."
"Why not?" retorts Netanel.
"Well who are we saying these things to? Hashem is all around us all time, right?" Tani nods. He's sitting up now. "Hashem is the power that creates the world, that guides our lives, and gives us everything we need, and when we say tefillot, we are putting ourselves into Hashem's presence to ask for all that we need and want."
"Mommy, but when does Hashem rest?" He asked. I understand the question! I mean, that sounds like a lot of work!
"On Shabbat," I answered. "Right? On the seventh day, Hashem rests. And so do we."

And then the epiphany happened. On Shabbat, we not only rest physically by not doing things that are considered work. (The list is pretty specific, which is why I used that particular wording.) We are also commanded to refrain from speaking or even thinking about non-Shabbat related things. Like business, or what we want to do or accomplish in the coming week, or even sports. We 're not even supposed to request anything from Hashem on Shabbat! The main prayer, called the "Amida" is completely different on Shabbat, instead of the normal 19 supplications, there are none. Only praise and thanks. On Shabbat we reconnect with our Soul, that little part of Godliness that exists within us.
So I answer Netanel's innocent question, and I'm thinking, "Oh, Duh!" Hashem "works" all the time for us. Listening to our prayers, ordering the world so that we can achieve our desires, and fulfill our purpose. But on Shabbat, Hashem is resting, recuperating, and reconnecting with Creation, just as we are reconnecting with our Creator.

So, no, we should not be talking about business, about stocks, about movies, or plans for the week. We should not be thinking about the activities and requirements of the week to come, because aside from detracting from the spiritual nature of the day, it actually disturbs God's rest! Anthropomorphically speaking, of course, when we make requests of our Creator, even in the form of dreaming about our heart's desires, that essentially causes Hashem to "work" to answer those requests.

So thanks to Netanel, in an hour, when Shabbat starts, I'll be much more sensitive to what it means to have a Day of Rest. And I can't wait!

I've been remiss

I've been out of touch, and I'm sorry!
We've been very busy around here lately, and now we are in Pesach cleaning mode!
But I promise to be back very soon, and to post all the updates, including Odeliya's 3rd Birthday Cuteness, Driving Test Fiasco, Aqcuiring Our First Car, Enjoying Time with Visiting Parents, and Why the First Year of Aliyah Lasts 18 Months!

In the meantime, here's a bit of eye-candy to hold you over till the "big comeback!"

Netanel playing chess with our guest.












Odeliya in all her birthday splendor


Happy Pesach to you!
See you soon!

And now, to end the war...

Presumptuous? Perhaps... 

 

This morning the kids were fighting. Odeliya started it, Netanel hit back. 

Me: Guys, stop fighting and get dressed! 

Netanel: But she hurt me! 

Me: You don't hurt people because they hurt you, you find a way to make them stop hurting you!

Epiphany! Isn't that the misconception of the century?!

 

How do I make this stick? We are training our future here, right? I mean Israeli kids know that they're going to serve in the army when they turn 18. My son, despite spending the first 4 years of his life with almost zero exposure to violence (via movies, toys, etc) has always wanted to be a soldier. I remember him taking bites out of his slice of cheese to make a gun - at age 3! At the time, he didn't even know what comes out of a gun, or what happens to the person on the other side of it, and not only that, he only knew what it was at all from seeing other kids pretending to have guns.

Now when he plays at being a soldier or a super hero, fighting "bad guys" we always ask him who they are, why they're bad, and why he needs to fight them. Part of the reason is because we want to know what he's hearing from the people around him, and part of it is because we want to instill him with an understanding of the thin - sometimes vanishing - line between good and bad, especially when it comes to war. When we ask him those questions, we keep it light and we never give him answers, just get him to think about the question. 

Trying to annihilate the "fighter" in him, in my opinion, would be folly. I believe it would backfire, because it is something that is obviously in his essence. So we look for ways to foster it and contain it so that he will have the tools to make good choices. 

And who really knows? Maybe the Creator saw fit to put this flame inside our son for a reason. His personality is so complex and amazing - even at 5! You'll just as likely find him playing fighting games as you will find him playing Daddy to his dolls. This is the same child who, at age 3.5 gave up his hard-won balloon to a friend who's balloon had flown away. He gave it to him because he understood, empathetically how his friend felt to not be able to show his classmates the balloon from his brothers' brit. And I'm not just saying that. 

 

Digressing for a moment, I will relate that story:

When Netanel was in nursery in NJ, we went to the brit of friends who's son was in kindergarten, we'll call him David. David left his brother's brit with another friend of ours, we'll call her Shana (;-) who took David and her own son to school. A few minutes later, we left too. We were 5 minutes to school when Shana called to ask if we'd left yet because David's balloon had blown away as they were walking into school and he was devastated. I said we'd left, but I'll see what I could do.
I looked at my little Netanel in the rearview mirror, clutching the string of his balloon, and thought, "what have I got to lose? He doesn't have to give it up, but if he does we can make this kid really happy." I decided to tread lightly, I had no reason to force him to give up his balloon.
"Tani, David's balloon flew away and he's so sad, would you like to give him your balloon?"
Obvious answer, "No, it's mine"
"You know, Netanel, David was so excited to bring his balloon to his class and tell all his friends about his brother's brit! Isn't that so exciting?!"
"uh huh."
"He got out of Shana's car and he was so excited and we was going to bring his balloon in to show his Morah and all his friends! And then you know what happened?"
"What, Mommy?"
"His balloon flew away! How do you think he's feeling now?"
"Sad." I could hear the frown  in his voice.
"Do you know what would make him so happy?"
"What, Mommy?"
"If someone could give David a new balloon, that would make him so happy! And he would be able to show everyone how proud he is to be a new big brother!" (Netanel's experience with that was also pretty recent)
"Mommy, David could have my balloon!" tears welled up in my eyes when I heard him say that.
"Really, Netanel, are you sure? Because that would be such a wonderful chesed (= kind act) and it would make him so happy!"
"Yes, Mommy. I can give David my balloon and he will be so happy."

Well, you know it paid off! He was the hero of the day! The look on David's face was absolutely priceless when Netanel walked into the room and handed him the balloon.The kindergarten teacher gave him a cookie, and his nursery teachers also made a big deal about it - and to boot, he actually got the balloon back at the end of the day!!! Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

But the point of the story is to illustrate Netanel's capacity for compassion and empathy.

 

Maybe he is intended to fight - but if that's the case, then we're going to do whatever we can to foster that compassion. So I got my chance to reinforce it.
 

On the way to gan this morning, Netanel picked up a stick - his sword - to fight the "bad guys". 

Me: Netanel, who are the "bad guys'?

N: I don't know. Just bad guys. we need to fight them.

Me: why?

N: because they're bothering us.

Me: Like Odeliya bothered you this morning.

--Silence.
Me: Do remember what I told you this morning, when you kicked her back?

Netanel nods.

Me: Netanel, you want to be a leader in the army, right? 

N: No! I want to be a fighter.

Me: The commanders are the best fighters, that's how they get to be leaders. When someone is hurting you, if you just try to hurt them back you're going to be fighting forever. What you need to do is find a way to make them stop hurting you. In the army, sometimes the only way to do that means that people get hurt, but not always.

And in your life, Netanel, it's never ok. With Odeliya, with kids in gan - because they're not bad guys! Right? (he nods. he's dragging his stick on the floor at the point.) Is you're sister a "bad guy"?

N: No.

Me: what about the kids in your gan?

N: no.

Me: so when they hurt you, or bother you, the answer is not to hurt them back, what's the answer?

N: To get them to stop hurting me.

Me: right. Netanel, if you can show us that you understand that, if you can find a way to resolve these fights without hurting anyone, then you can be the best fighter in the army.

I don't know how much he grasped, but it's a start.

Heard in the Backyard

Netanel has a friend over and they were playing in the backyard. I keep hearing snippets of their conversation...
Here's one of them: (remember they're 5 - and this is translated from the Hebrew they were speaking)


Netanel: Right, he was old and that's why he had problems?
Friend: Yes, and when children grow up their parents die.
Netanel: Not true, my father is grown up and his parents are still alive.

15 Minute Oat Muffins

By popular demand, here is my favorite muffin recipe - these muffins are so easy and bake so fast, and you can add anything you want to them (including things your kids won't eat!) The original version of this recipe came from my mother in law, but I modified it.

You can literally be eating your muffins in 15 minutes from now! I've even made these for breakfast - before coffee!

Ok, here it is:
15 Minute Oat Muffins

Ingredients:
1 Cup Rolled Oats (you can use the quick oats, but I prefer the old fashioned type - better flavor)
1 Cup flour (or oat bran, or whole wheat flour or wheat germ)
1 Tbs baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla extract (or any other extract)
1/2 Cup apple juice or soy milk (today I used white grape juice, you can also use water if you don't have anything else)
1/4 Cup oil
2 eggs
1/3 Cup sugar or honey
Extras: raisins, blueberries, chopped apple, mashed banana, flax seeds, nuts, chocolate chips, pomegranate seeds, etc... (and that's just what I've tried it with! Try combining groups of extras - it's like trail mix in a muffin!)

Preheat the oven to 425 F
Mix all ingredients together
Fill 2 standard sized muffin tins, filling each cup about 3/4 full
Bake for 12-15 min

בתאבון! Enjoy!

Oh Joyful Rapture! Gloriously Delicious Soup!

You mean not everyone gets this excited about soup?? But it's SOUP. Soooup. In the winter... hot, cozy, creamy or chunky, spicy, comforting soup.

And I do believe, in my humble opinion, that I've mastered the art of zuccinni soup. I challenge any of you to make this soup and tell me it's not the best zucchini soup you've ever eaten!

Ok, here it is:

Ayelet's Mother of all Zucchini Soup

Ingredients:
1 Tbs oil or butter
1 large yellow onion, diced
1/2 tsp chopped fresh red chili pepper
(or 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper)
2 medium potatoes, diced
1 carrot, shredded
7-8 zucchini, cut into chunks
salt
pepper
garlic powder
1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice or 1/4 tsp lemon salt

Directions:
In a large pot, sautee onions in oil just until translucent, add the chili pepper and stir. (Do this even if you are using cayenne!)
Add the potatoes and carrots, continue to cook over med heat for about 3-5 minutes.
Add the zucchini and pour in enough water just to cover.

Cover pot and bring to a boil. Then lower to a simmer and stir occasionally for 45 min - 1 hour.
Add salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste, and the lemon.
(Trust me, you won't taste the lemon. It just adds the right amount of acidity to bring out all the taste!)
If you have an immersion blender, use it now! If not just let the soup continue to simmer until everything is mushy and smooth.

Serve, and Enjoy!!!

My kids finished their bowls - this is big news!
I've currently had about 4 bowls and even Tzachi couldn't get enough of it! He loved it!

Birth and healing (a journal entry)

I've been avoiding my birth boards, and birth, and myself for more than six months. If healing has happened for me, it has been passive - like the way your body heals from a cold if you ignore it long enough,and then one morning two weeks later you realize you slept all night and you're not congested at all.

In the past two weeks Birth has hunted me down, forced me to remember her and remember how much I once loved her. And also how vicious she can be. How subvertivly she injects her precepts into every other chapter of your life. She found me, I cowered and she insisted that I watch. That I be present and informed and that I bear witness to her beauty and her ugliness, her silence and her fury, her undying strength and her paralyzing fear.

I watched, I advised, I conferred, and I wept.

And now I know that there is an active part that I must play in my healing - and I must take this step. Today it was shown to me that I am at the hub of a network of people that need to be connected and that the butterfly effect that I pray will ensue can affect real, tangible change for women giving birth here in Israel.

I'm putting this here in the hope that getting these thoughts out will be a step towards making them a reality. I know I'm being ambiguous, but that's because it's still ambiguous to me. And it feels too big to put into words. But this purpose has filled me the way water fills every crevice of space in its container, the way it will even defy gravity to fill in each crack. As I find the words, I will share them. But for now I feel I have taken a necessary step just by writing this down.

Some recent pictures...

Cuz I've been remiss:

That's me hiking at night at the Jordan river with six adorable seminary girls!

Yitzchak in all his fleecy yumminess!

My little Diva - she chose her own clothes!!

Mommy's pride!

Notice the snail that they are observing, this is why it takes us an hour and a half to get to gan!

Odeliya and Yitzchak having a tea party in their "club house" (i.e. large cardboard box that Yoram snagged from work)

Hope you enjoy my kids as much as I do!

The Olives that Irked Me

On the way to Odeliya's day care there is this one house that has a small grove of olive tree that hang over onto the path. As the olive harvest began back in Sept, the kids started to notice the olives ripening on the trees and I pointed out that soon the owners would harvest their olives and they can pickle them or press them into oil. (The local olive oil factory will actually press your olives for you!) But as the olives continued to ripen, and we started noticing more and more olives on the ground, I started to get annoyed.

It is a fact that this year's olive harvest was particularly slim - olive oil prices here have gone up because of it, and here's a family with enough olives for maybe 2-3 liters of oil and they're letting it rot! They are going to go to the supermarket and buy bottles of olive oil and cans of pickles olives, instead of harvesting their bounty! And now there's fewer bottles on the shelf for people like me that don't have the privilege of having olive trees!

We talk about depletion and lack - there is no lack in the Universe! Hashem's bounty is abundant! But we are lacking in our self-preservation, because we think that the things we use come from the store. We forget where the things we need really originate - and that's in the Earth.

I remember one Sunday back in the US (when Sundays were a day off!) when Yoram was putting up shelves and needed more wood. So Netanel, then barely 3 years old, said, "So we need to go to Home Depot to get more!" I asked him, "Netanel, where does the wood come from?" and he answered, "Home Depot." At which point we educated him on lumber and the process of turning trees into shelves. We watched videos online and looked at books, and now he knows that wood comes from trees.

I think we all need to take a step back and remember where the things we buy come from and the work that goes into putting it there. Before I buy something from the store, I ask myself if this is something that I could conceivably make on my own. And if the answer is yes, then I do.And I'll leave that product on the shelf for someone who can't conceivably make it on their own.

The "Mother's Curse" Has Befallen Me

Ok, Ma, admit it! Once upon a time, when I was a little, curly headed toddler, being my adorable, opinionated, stubborn self - you wished this upon me! You said, "I hope one day you have a daughter just like you, and then you'll know what it's like!" Well, I hope you're happy now, Mommy, because I now know what it must have been like - and I'm sorry!

One day last week, as the morning began to wane, and my little, curly-headed toddler was still not dressed, I decided to try a new tactic. I grabbed a crayon and a piece of blue paper and started drawing.
Me: Look, I'm drawing a picture of Odeliya! Here are her pretty curls, her big brown eyes, (My model expresses interest.) And here's your beautiful smiling mouth, (big grin from the model!) But, uh oh! where's her shirt? I can't draw your shirt because you're still in your pj's!
Odeliya immidiately starts to pull off her top, and I'm feeling kind of smug... and then - she whips around, grabs the crayon from my hand and says, "I will draw it!"

So much for creative parenting! Grrr!!!

Vaccines: Irradicating illnesses or causing complications?!?!

Don't get too excited now, I'm not writing this because I have the answer. I'm currently struggling with this question, and if I am, well darn it, you might as well join in too!
One more disclaimer here: this is my blog. I can write whatever I want on it and if anyone reading it experiences a feeling of being offended by anything I write, then you should be aware that it is your own sensitivity to the subject that is causing you to feel offended. My personal thoughts and points of view are just that - personal. If you agree - awesome! If you don't - equally awesome! We're not here to be clones of one another, we're here to engage in dialogue and learn from everyone.

I know vaccines are a sensitive issue, and I'm hoping that you will comment and share your thoughts and findings with me.

Let's start with what I know.

• I know that the Creator gave us perfectly functioning bodies with an intricate system to process and eliminate toxins from the body. (In other words, our bodies are fully equipped to get rid of the crap we put into it - literally!) But I also know that in today's world, the amount of toxic materials we are exposed to is enormous! I believe that it's more than we were created to handle. And there's a limit to what we can protect ourselves from. (I feel another post coming on about that!)  
  

• I know I'm not vaccinating my kids for flu or chicken pox. In families that are generally healthy, those vaccines are very useful to parents who are unable to stay home and care for a sick kid. We are a generally healthy family who focus on immune building diets and practices, and if my kid gets the flu, I am grateful to be able to stay home and tend to them until they recover. And although I'm all about irradicating illnesses, the chicken-pox vaccine doesn't provide better immunity against infection than actually having and fighting chicken-pox. So for our family, if my kids don't get chicken-pox on their own by the time they're 11, then I'll start the vaccine, b/c that's when the benefits begin to outweigh the risks.

Now let's talk about the risks of vaccines in general:

The concept is brilliant. Use the body's own excellent mechanism of immunity to build antibodies for illnesses without actually being sick. It's the delivery method that's the problem.

Those of us who are "label-readers" are probably careful not to buy products that have lots of preservatives - or any for that matter. It's one of those things we can do to reduce the tax on our kidneys and liver. So think about this. We're careful not to eat preservatives - the stuff we ingest goes through a lot of processing before it reaches our blood. And yet we don't think twice before injecting a syringe-full of preservatives directly into our blood stream! (or muscle which is also more directly absorbed into the blood than food) - actually, not even our own, our tiny children's blood!

Even if the pharmaceutical companies in the US don't use mercury anymore, they are using some other preservative to keep those little germies safe till they get into baby's body! I know my language is a little alarmist right now. I admit it. So let me restate that in a more factual, non-emotional way: The vaccine is includes various chemicals in order to effectively administer to the body. The chemicals that are most often used are thimerasol (which is mercury, is not used in the US anymore, but if you're not in the US then ask!!) , formaldahyde, aluminum, ammonium sulfate (yes, as in ammonia that's found in urine and cleaning products), 2-phenoxythenol (a preservative with known toxicity levels - this is present in almost every vaccine your child will receive!), and more. I found a list of ingredients from the CDC website, and then went and looked up the specific ingredients. Here are the links for your enjoyment:
Center for Disease Control
List of Vaccine Ingredients
some sources for what the ingredients actually are:
www.3dchem.com
http://science.jrank.org/
http://www.sciencelab.com/xMSDS-2_Phenoxyethanol-9926486
http://environmentalchemistry.com/
http://sci-toys.com/ingredients/ingredients.html

Just like everything in life - and especially in health care - we have to weigh the benefits against the risks.

So then we get into looking at each individual vaccine and asking, "is it worth injecting all this poison into my child's body?"

Well, unvaccinated kids put the vaccinated public at risk. Did you know that?
It's true. Our vaccinated immunity sort of assumes that we're not actually coming into contact with the real thing, and when unvaccinated people are actually exposed to a disease, they can cause complications for other people. Freaky.
There was recently a mumps outbreak in Jerusalem. It seems it was brought over from the US, from a Jewish sect that feels that vaccination is against the Torah. The majority of infected people were actually vaccinated for mumps which is cause to question the effectiveness of the mumps vaccine. Although it's only given together w/ the measles and rubella vaccine (MMR) and the evidence shows that the immunity for those two are pretty high. Original article.

So I'm still not sold on vaccinating. I don't want my kids to get sick, I don't want them to be the cause of other people getting sick, but I also don't like the idea of bombarding their tiny little systems with known toxins.